"Grey Gahdens"

Yesterday I watched a movie on HBO entitled "Grey Gardens". It starred Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange as the Bouvier-Beales. They were a mother and daughter who ended up living together for most of their lives at their family home called Grey Gardens - located in East Hampton, New York. "Big" Edie (Edith Bouvier Beales) was the paternal Aunt to Jackie Kennedy Onassis and "Little" Edie (Edith) was her first cousin. Jacqueline Onassis actually spent many childhood summers at this famous house with her aunt and cousins. "Big" Edie, as she was known, had two sons as well. Her sons went on to live without much contact with their mother and sister after their father's death. The Maysle Brothers made a documentary of these two women and their home in September and October 1973. You can go on Youtube and view some of the excerpts. They are so intriguing. The story has also been made into a Tony award winning Broadway musical with the fantastic Christine Ebersole winning Best Actress in a musical for her performance as "Little" Edie. She actually plays the mother in the beginning of the show, too.

I think the reason the story is so fascinating is that it depicts two people who basically had it all at one time and then resigned themselves to living a reclusive life by themselves in this vast house. Unfortunately the house and property grew into squalor and the house became infested with cats, racoons and fleas. The Beales fed the animals and made a life with all of them. Their exchanges in conversation are enjoyable and border on the psychophrenic. I do believe that both women suffered from some form of mental illness or mental handicap. However, they were happy in their own way with one another. They lived in the past. They talked incessisently about their desires for fame through singing and dancing. Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange did incredible jobs at showing these two women through time. You grow to love them without really knowing why. I think it's because they are all of us.

By that, I mean that at some point any of us could lapse into what they were like. Just stop cleaning a little - stop caring about running around - stop worrying about what other's think - stop caring about fashion or whatever is the latest thing. Remove yourself from friends and other family and you're there. It's not that far of a journey. It's scary, but there are very fine threads of life in these two people. They don't fully comprehend what they've become. To them, in some small way, they are still who they were. They just have more stuff.

I love this story. I can't explain it. It's not really a happy story and it left me feeling melancholy, which Cherie said I didn't need more of! However, it did make me think and I like that. It made me think of how easy it would be to just stop everything. Let the world move around you instead of you moving with it. It's just fascinating to me. These two women were privileged in every sense of the word at one time. They had the best connections, money and the ability to feed their own narcissism. Time caught up with them and life dealt them a harsh blow, but they kept on going. They made the best of their situations. They were not trained to do housework or keep up a garden or lawn. They had servants and when the money ran out, so did the care for those things. They survived on mostly ice cream, which was, for them, a celebration. I know to many this sounds bleak, but remember that they were happy or content with where they were. They still had some dreams - at least "Little" Edie did, but she knew she was supposed to be there with her mother. One quote from the documentary is..."She's a lot of fun...I hope mother doesn't die." They loved one another. They did argue and had disagreements, but through it all these two women loved each other. That's the underlying story here. If you get a chance, watch this movie or watch the clips on line from the documentary. Or, if you get the chance, see the musical - or even better do all three! I have been touched by these ladies. I somehow miss them without ever having known them. "Big" Edie died in 1977 and "Little" Edie in 2002. Little Edie sold the house after her mother's death with the clause that the house not be demolished. It has now been completely restored and you can also see that on Youtube. It's a beautiful old house that sits very close to the ocean.

I often feel like the world moves around me. There is always something new coming along that I don't know about. There is always some new technology that is created that I can't do. I don't text. I have a pay-as-you-go cell phone, which I hardly use. I do use the computer at work, but honestly am not what I would consider literate with all that there is to do with one. This day and age can make you feel like you're being left in the dust all the time. It can be frightening and intimidating. Sometimes it's nice to see that life can be slower. Even when the documentary was done in 1973, life was slower. It's so fast now. We are hustling and bustling here and there. Everyone has to keep up with the lastest fad or newest trend. I can't keep up. I just can't. It's tiring to me. Sometimes I wonder when it will all stop. For now, I enjoy things that remind me of those times when it was slower and things were simpler. Maybe it's age that does that to you? I'm not that old, but I miss some of those things.
Oh, the reason I spelled the name of this post "gahdens" is because the Beales had a very Northeaster accent where they dropped their "r's". I thought it appropriate.

Sun?

Today is Sunday. The beginning of another week. It is the last day of the weekend. It has been warm. The leaves are out on even the bigger trees now. We have a tree that is just in front of our patio. It is so lonely when it has no leaves. It is beautiful with new leaves coming and shades the patio just perfectly in the late Spring, Summer and Fall. I love our apartment. I miss home sometimes...however, I keep remembering all the memories. They have come with us. I miss the people tho. I lived around some of the neighbors for all but about 11 years of my life. It is sad. There isn't even time in the day to visit anymore.
I have been doing geneology. I have found alot of information. It is exciting to me. There have been many notes and comments about the visiting and singing. I miss that with my dad, mom and sisters. I miss the times we had with my grandpa and grandma Frey. We always had somewhere to go on holidays and felt needed. It was great. I love my family.
Mom comes home today. We went to Kirtland for 2 and half days for Jeff's job so mom stayed with Denise. Kirtland was very nice. We saw the sights and enjoyed the evenings together. He learned things and I felt at peace in the hotel and around Mentor and Kirtland Ohio. It was a nice couple of days. I don't have a camera. I didn't get any pictures. If you want to see how it looked...it was amazing...it looked just like it looked in all of the pictures I had always seen. The temple, however, looked a bit bigger than I was expecting. It really was a pretty good size for their first endeavor. So if you can't go then look online for the information on Kirtland...it is the next best thing to being there...:)
Anyway, Mom is coming home. She has been a stinker at Denise's. I am so sad. Jeff had a dream that she went kicking and screaming, swearing and saying all kinds of hateful things, when being put into a nursing home. It is getting time. Isn't it odd how someone can be quite wonderful physically and their mind just leaves them? Alzheimer's has left my mom a completely different person. There is no understanding this disease...just patience and acceptance. I am still working on both of those!
Well, all is well. The kitties made it through the little vacation from us with flying colors. We were all so excited to be back together.
Hallelujah to ya!!!!! Cindy used to say that all the time when she was happy or excited about something.
I saw some sandels on sale in the advertisements this weekend. They were quite a good price. I wanted to call all of my nieces and nephews and get sizes and buy them some! I wish we could do more. We sure love them.

Our lives are swirling away...

When we ask each other how we are doing do we really want to know? I ask myself that sometimes when someone really tells me. I REALLY do care about how people are doing...sometimes it is just impossible for me to make any difference. I feel at a loss. Part of who I am is dealing with and solving problems...my life is so overwhelming now I really have no way of knowing how to help anyone else. You know the saying "You can't lift anyone up higher than you are". Believe me you do NOT want to be where we are.

We had an instance this week that has hit me pretty hard. Jeff felt the sting as well. There is a great family we have felt close to that has just had a baby. We are THRILLED for them. It is a wonderful thing to bring a new family member into the family. We have been so involved in the whirlpool of our lives we didn't even know our friend was going to have a baby. She was expecting for 9 months and had the baby without us even knowing...it has been a horrible realization for me. I am sorry to our wonderful friends out there...and don't forget our family. I have neglected you all. We still love you, think about you and want to continue our relationships. Sometimes it just seems to much of a mess to even contact anyone...we don't have anything to share. Our lives seem to be have been filled to the rim with sickness and death, lost dreams and it just seems to keep happening. We haven't forgotten you tho...please know we still love you.

Times will be better in the future. I mean, don't you have to keep hoping? In the meantime, we hope you won't forget us and will be there when the good times begin to roll again.

Hugs to all.