Lost In Reflection

I am reflecting on the past...the goals I had many years ago.   I am NOT what I had thought I would be by this age.   I am not the woman, the wife, the employee, the sister, mother, daughter and many others I thought I would be.    Life has gone very fast.  I can't say I have ANY regrets...no time for that...however, I would have liked to have one check mark on at least one of my major goals from my younger years.   Actually, I guess I do have ONE.   I am married to a wonderful man.   He keeps me going forward.   Gotta keep up with him...I can't haha.   I appreciate him so much.    
So as I have been lost in reflection of things today I am eternally grateful for the knowledge I have of eternity.   I am grateful I have more time to be who I am to be.   Sometimes it may seem impossible, however, with the help of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, family and good friends, I believe I will make it!   Thanks to all of you who haven't given up even tho I definitely have great room for improvement.   Also, thanks to those who see and know who I am when you can't see it!   (Upon looking in the mirror, I hope I am not ONLY who you see looking at me.   I do NOT feel at all inside how I look outside...weird...just another thing I try to  work on)
I think of The Portrait of Dorian Gray--A corrupt young man somehow keeps his youthful beauty, but a special painting gradually reveals his inner ugliness to all.--My ugliness seems to stay right out here for the whole world to see.   It is curious to me how I can still feel the pain of each and every pound I have gained.   It has not been a good thing.   I am sorry for those who have to see it.   God bless those who struggle in this way...it isn't pretty. 
   
I have forced myself to get out into the world.  It is much harder than even I thought it would be.   I am striving to work a couple days a week...have the best person to work with/for.   I am grateful for the growth I have felt.   Maybe one day...full time?   Hopefully, this can't be all there is to life??

It's Crying Time Again...UGH

Well, here I go again.   For the last nearly a week I have been sooooo weepy.  ANYTHING sets me off.  I can sit somewhere laughing or having a good time and all of a sudden I begin to cry.  I think of something that reminds me of someone or a good, sad or bad experience and there I go.   It is quite unnerving actually.   I am getting old.  I blame my weirdness the last 5 years or so on one thing...when it is over...well I hope I am better because if I a not...maybe I just am nuts!  ugh.

I have always heard crying relieves stress...I should be very stress free then!  :)   I have to say to the fact above...the chemistry of crying relieves stress...it does not, however, put that ice cream cone back together...and that just isn't fair!!! ugh.  :D

Christmas day is over...the Spirit of Christmas need never leave.

The DAY of Christmas is over...the feelings for me are not.   I guess when you have no children...and not a lot of money...the whole commercializing of Christmas day isn't the same.    It was a great day.   Jeff and I are truly blessed.   We have been together Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today, Tuesday.   I feel the Spirit so much this year.   I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  

Jeff got a job and started working on the 28th of November.  It is the first full-time benefited job he has had since January 2010.   We are blessed we are still here...I am not sure I would have ever believed we could make it through a few months without a job before this experience.   We have learned a great deal about ourselves and others through it all.  

We miss our family in Virginia every day.   We love them SO much.    Our nieces and nephews are so very precious to us.   It was wonderful being near so many of them.    We miss them so much.   We love ALL of our family.   It has been a lot of years since I have put pictures of our family on here...I believe on the first post I had all of them listed and pics.   So this is going to be my project again this year.   You will NOT believe how grown up they have gotten in the last 3 years...we also have a new one!  WOOT!   We sure LOVE LOVE LOVE them so much!

The Lambert Girls Christmas 2011

The Heavener/Ours kids...minus Cary

Cary Ours

JD Mullins

 Kailey Mullins

Eden and Gage Sugg

Nothing is Impossible

This post is about one of my favorite artists.   She always has a story to tell which explains what she was thinking when painting each particular piece of art.   I would like to share a new painting I just found.   (Remember all artwork may have a copyright law)

For All Mankind by Liz Lemon Swindle

One of the first children I met in Zambia was a little boy named Kennedy. At three years old, Kennedy had lost both of his parents to AIDS and was found living alone with his six year old brother and ten year old sister. When I thought of those three children struggling to survive and the millions of others across Africa in similar circumstances, I felt an overwhelming hopelessness and said to myself, “No amount of money can fix this.”

I was curious to see how Kennedy and the others would react to Phillip, the man playing Christ. We decided to drop Phillip off several hundred yards from the “farm” and then drive in and set up our cameras. We told the children we had a wonderful surprise for them. When Phillip came into view the children instinctively ran to him and threw their arms around him. Everyone except Kennedy.

When Phillip saw this little boy standing apart from the others, he walked over and knelt down. As he opened his arms this little soul ran to him and threw his arms around his neck. He began speaking as fast as he could. Phillip looked for help to understand. One of the others translated.

“My mom and dad died. They are in heaven. Have you seen them? Are they ok?”

At that moment I knew it wasn’t hopeless. I realized that the Savior could fix not only the problems of Africa, but of the whole world…and we can be His hands to do it. For the first time in my life I felt what Isaiah meant when he said, “He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces.” To Kennedy and all who struggle to understand why, I promise that God has not forgotten you. That the time is coming when He will come in power and glory and when He will keep his promise and wipe away all of our  tears.

I know with all of my heart we are known by our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  I know one day the struggles, no matter what they are, will be over and we shall see the face of Christ.   He will hug us and the pain of the earlier days will be over.   We will be victorious!   I hope and pray we will all be able to make it to that day.