Ok , this will be short, once again, because I am just not liking sitting here in front of the computer. I have had a loss in my life, not being able to have children. It has been the sadness which will not go away...however, in the last week, I believe I have gotten a taste of the pain I may have had with childbirth. It started on Monday and through Friday morning I have had about 50 hours of labor pains...not really...but some kind of pain...the doctors and nurses and I (and others) believe it is gall bladder problems. I have had pain in my life...I mean, I fell down and messed my ankles up all the time as a child and young adult...broke my leg, had many other painful illnesses and incidences...this is HORRENDOUS!!!! I can' t believe I have lived through it...I know I sound overly dramatic... and I also know anyone who has had the pain and not known what it is or when it will stop completely understands me. I don't want to have a baby. I have had my childbirth for a lifetime. I have had test after test and now have to wait until Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My doctor is off on Friday...hopefully, I will get the results and I can't believe I saying this...but hopefully I will get to have surgery and "GET THIS THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It is horrible.
Now on a good note, because you all know me...I try and see the positive. I have lost some weight because I have had nothing but crackers and a little broth since Tuesday...hahaha.
Well, today I am trying rice with chicken boullion...wish me luck!
I just want to say to all my friends out there who have had a baby. I am so sorry. If I have had anywhere near the pain you have had to have a baby, again, I am so sorry! I love you and empathize with you more than you can know.
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