Losing my religion

I've been going through a lot recently - the loss of job, trying to find work and also questioning my faith. I have belonged to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints all of my life. My mother converted when she was just a teenager and raised our family in this religion. My father is not a member of this church, but my step-father was. Consequently, I was raised in the Mormon faith. This past week I requested that my name be removed from the records of this church. This is tantamount to excommunicating oneself. I have a lot of friends and family who are LDS and know that this will come as a shock to most. It has taken me 2 years to reach this point, but I am finally there. While I know that most will question my reasons and find fault with them, I do not. I am happy and at peace with the decision. It was not an easy one to reach because leaving the Mormon church also means changing your life. I just want to clarify a few things. First, this is not a knee-jerk reaction to being "let go" from my job with the church. If anything, being "let go" was a result of this - inadvertently. Secondly, I have not committed any grievous sin that would require excommunication in the standard sense. I am still me. Lastly, no one offended me or upset me to force me into this cause. This is a choice I have made solely on my own with a lot of pondering and study.

Last night the Elder's Quorum President came to our home and talked with me for an hour or so. I know he meant well, but this is not a phase nor is it something that I have taken lightly. Religion, or faith is a very powerful thing and something that is very personal and dear to most people. It has been to me as well. I do not wish to begin living a different lifestyle or anything of that nature, but I do not agree with the basic foundation of the LDS Church from its inception. While I know I am going against years of teachings and training, I feel free for the first time in my life from the constraints of Mormonism. Many will disagree with that comment because they will say they already feel free while in it. We will have to agree to disagree on that one. I also am keenly aware that I have been a very visible figure in the church in the area which I live. I have served in leadership positions and have been very vocal over the years about my beliefs. This may seem very hypocritical of me, but I wish to clear up one thing...while I was in those positions, I spoke the truth as I knew it at that time. I was not in any way trying to mislead or misrepresent myself to anyone. I hope that those who read this or pass it along to those who know me will still consider me a friend. I have no desire to persuade anyone else to do as I have done. This is for me. Cherie does not have the same belief as me and will continue in the faith and I respect and support her in that. I do not hate the LDS Church, but do feel that people in powerful positions propagate falsehoods. That's all I will say in that matter.

I guess I ask that no one hate me or feel sorry for me. As I was talking last night, the thought came to me from the musical "Evita" and I changed it to fit my situation. So, please...'don't cry me for me...'

Jeff