'Our Doodle Boy' - continued

Cherie wrote briefly about what happened to our Marmalade on Wednesday of this week. As she said, we are devastated. I know lots of people love their pets and I'm not taking anything away from them. Nor am I trying to "one-up" anyone, but we LOVE/LOVED our babies. They were our babies in EVERY sense of the word. Marmalade had his own personality and was so wonderful in our lives. There is no way to completely write in words what this has done to our family. Penelope Ann, our baby girl, is also missing her brother. They have been together their entire lives and now she is alone. We are beyond saddened for her. She has clung to us since her brother has gone and for that we are glad. Our lives lately have been so difficult in so many areas. Things are getting more and more difficult, too. I can't begin to describe the pain that we are feeling. Our home feels emptier - someone is missing. He was our doodle boy as we described. Cherie called him that - that was her name for him. He would respond to her calling him at any time of the day or night. He loved his mama. She loved him and she is lost without her boy. I don't know what to do for us. It is so overwhelming. Many don't understand the love we have for our kitties. Without human children, they have given us so much love and affection over the years and we have reciprocated in turn. Our doodle was 11 years old and I wanted more years with him. We had no idea he was sick. We feel so horrible about that, too. We feel that we let him down as his caretakers. Life has thrown us a real curve-ball here and we're not handling it well. Tears and sleepless nights have been our lives these last few days. I love and miss him so, so, so, so, very much. Our boy was outgoing and curious. He loved looking outside and watching the birds or chipmunks. He would run through the house and meow as if to let us know that he was on patrol. Every time we opened a window, he was there to look out and smell the fresh air. He loved that. He was playful and loving. When I was working, he would play with me each and every morning as I got dressed. He loved my socks and we would play-fight every day. He would get himself so worked up that he would eventually jump down, but he always came back for more. He helped his mama make the bed and fold laundry, too. I mention that lovingly, because he really just played with her while she was trying to work, but it was like he was trying to help her. I love him. I miss him. My heart is breaking. Cherie's heart is breaking. We are so lost without our Marmie. I named him because I had always thought that Marmalade sounded like such and English name and it fit him perfectly with his orange coloring. He was so handsome and aside from that, he was the only other boy in the home besides me. I used to say that we boys had to stick together because our girls were so high maintenance. We love our girls, I used to say. He would roll over and let me rub his belly. I miss his soft white fur on his belly and his throat. He loved to have his throat rubbed, too. He was so loving and sweet. He wanted to be in our family when we found him outside 11 years ago. We gladly opened the door to him and his sissy. I came home the other evening and looked up at the windows. We kept the blinds up a bit because he always loved getting up there and looking out. No one was there. My heart gave way and I broke down again. When he first came to live with us, we lived in our apartment in Auburn and one evening we were driving down our street and there was this little orange head peeking out to watch for us. He continued to do that for the rest of his life. I miss my boy so much. I know I'm repeating myself but I can't stress it enough. We would love to hear from anyone and everyone. We need support and love right now. I know I'm begging, but we just do. You can't begin to understand the pain we are going through unless you've been through it yourself. I will forever love him and wait to see him again someday. My little orange boy...our doodle boy. Love from papi and mama.