"Things...they are a-changin'!"

I thought I'd write again since several people have begun contacting me in regards to my decision to leave The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In my previous post I hope everyone understood that this is just me, not Cherie, who is doing this. Cherie is steadfast in her faith in the Church and is still a believing member. I love her dearly and she loves me. We are lucky that way. Through everything - job loss, financial strains, church resignation and many other stresses, our love has sustained us. For this I am lucky and grateful.

Fortunately, the responses I have had to my post have been kind and caring. I appreciate that. I'm sure there are many questions and that there will be many who disagree with me. That's OK. For the last several days things have been emotional for me. I am above all else a people-pleaser. Knowing that I have made friends and family sad, upset, shocked or any combination of those things, has been hard. I want to reiterate that I am still "Jeff". I have not begun doing anything differently in my life. Other than not believing in Joseph Smith or the Book of Mormon, I am essentially myself - same sense of humor, same issues, same hang-ups and same self-deprecating person that I have always been.

Last night I had an epiphany of sorts. In talking to Cherie about these feelings of sadness for causing such shock-waves, it occurred to me that I was forgetting one important person - me. So, I decided right then and there that I was going to be happy and content with my decision. I was all along anyway, because I wouldn't have requested it had I not been sure. However, I was once again forgetting my own feelings. The truth is, I am happy with this decision and know it is right for me. I still love and care about those who are members of the Church.

Religion is such a personal and internal thing. Changing one's long-held beliefs is not an easy decision, nor one that many people chose to make. I get that. Just because we believe differently about things doesn't mean we can't still have a great relationships. True, some things will change. When someone gets married in the temple I will wait outside. That's fine. When I go to church with Cherie (sometimes) I will not participate. That's fine. I will not be sitting there making ugly faces at things that are being said or taught. I will be thoughtfully listening. I will not take the sacrament. That's fine. I realize that there are more "serious" LDS things that I am "losing" but you see, to me, I'm not losing them.

So, I won't belabor this issue much more, but just wanted to clarify a few things from my earlier post. I have learned a lot, and as shocking and unplanned to me in the beginning as this has been, I began to understand things in a new way.

One last thing for those to chew on...I am also seriously contemplating taking back my birth surname, which is Mullins. So, get ready, Jeff is moving and shaking again! As they say...'things, they are a-changin'!"